Vegan For a Day

This year, Chip got a few bonus vegetarian surprises at Christmas time.  First, Jeff decided to offer up a meatless week (hey, it's a start) and then my son Alex decided to outdo ALL of us and commit to Meatless Mondays for the entire year.  That's 52 meatless days to my 31!  But I did up the ante a little bit with respect to my own sacrifice by offering Chip the opportunity to give me a bonus challenge of his choice, keeping in mind that my attempt at TWO meatless months a few years ago did not work out so well.  His challenge?  To go vegan for a day.  I don't know about you, but I can do ANYTHING for just one day and it didn't take me long to figure out that only a few small tweaks to my menu would be all it took to meet the challenge.  I often have eggs for breakfast (which aren't vegan) but almost just as often I choose oatmeal with fruit (which is vegan).  Switching out milk for Crystal Light would be easy enough and if I stuck to dishes which are typcially cheeseless, I'd be home free.

I'm glad I set the bar higher for myself than that.  I'm glad I'm not the "what's the LEAST I can do and get away with it" type.  Instead, I decided to do a little research about what vegans actually eat, or in any case what they suggest for newbie vegans to eat. And then I ate it.  Here is my vegan menu for the day, which was conditionally approved by Chip after the fact:

Breakfast
Vegan breakfast burrito made with faux sausage, tofu, and sauteed veggies
Coffee with French Vanilla flavored coconut milk creamer

Lunch
Leftover stirfry made with un-chicken over brown rice
Slice of whole grain bread with vegan un-butter spread (which I only purchased out of curiosity)
Crystal light

Dinner
Vegan lasagna (recipe provided by my vegan friend, Kristine)
Garlic bread (toast with un-butter spread, seasoned with garlic etc)
White wine

For you non-vegans out there, you may be just as dismayed as I was to learn that wine is generally not vegan!  You know what that means?  I wish I was kidding but as it turns out, animal products are often used during the fining process.  There are actually lists of approved "vegan wines."  Fortunately for me, Chip has decided that even he doesn't need to go THAT far when it comes to being vegan so he approved my menu on the condition that I read up a little bit on the whole vegan wine thing.  Which I did, but only what he actually copied and pasted into the body of his email to me.  It's not like he asked me to do a research paper or anything....

What I learned from Vegan Day is that it was actually a whole lot easier than I thought - as long as I can continue to exempt wine from the list of offending foods.  I'm not planning to become a vegan at any point in the future, but I do now have a carton of coconut milk creamer and a tub of un-butter spread to use up.  So, there are a few vegan-ish meals in my future just the same.  And wine.  :)

The Wild Cow Cafe

Meatless March started off quite nicely, I must say.  On Friday, the first day of the month, my husband and I left for a road trip to Little Rock, AR to run the marathon on Sunday, intending to stop for the night in Nashville, TN.  Unlike previous road trips, this one was a meatless pleasure!  Both on the way down and the way back, we stopped at Subway for lunch and found BOTH of them carried VegiMax patties!  SCORE!  If you've never tried a VegiMax patty, let me just tell you that as a carnivore, I find them to be quite tasty.  They don't taste like vegetables and certainly don't taste like meat, but they have a unique flavor and texture that I find myself craving even during non-meatless months.  Try one and you won't be disappointed.

Knowing we'd be arriving in Nashville at around the dinner hour, I took some time during the drive to search for and review vegetarian-friendly restaurants in the area.  My selection?  The Wild Cow in East Nashville; a fun, quirky little vegetarian/vegan place where just about everyone looked like a hippie.  Despite the fact that NO meat is served at this establishment, Jeff was amenable to the choice and happily enjoyed a black bean veggie burger - although he did order it "animal style." Some habits are hard to break.  For my part, I decided to try the "philly cheesesteak" which was not at all a cheesesteak but was made with seitan in some sort of sauce, grilled onions and peppers, with a vegan queso.  Now, my brother Chip has told me on more than one occasion that there is no good vegan cheese substitute so I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at all apprehensive about this vegan queso.  However, the waitress assured me it was quite tasty so I decided to consider it something of an experiment.  The verdict:  it was somewhat unpleasant in the exact same way that I find Cheese-Wiz to be somewhat unpleasant.  Edible and sort of reminded me of cheese, but I wasn't licking my fingers.  The rest of the sandwich was really quite good, but if I ever go back to The Wild Cow, which I just might do the next time I find myself in Nashville, I'd try a different entree.

You know what is deliciously mysterious to me?  Vegan cake.  And The Wild Cow had some vegan chocolate banana cake for sale which sent my taste buds straight to their happy place where they forgot all about the vegan queso.  I don't know how such a scrumptious treat can be concocted without butter, cream, or eggs but I honestly don't care.  That is some amazing stuff right there.

For the rest of our trip, I subsisted on mostly salads and veggie pizza which was just fine by me. And of course, the VegiMax patty at Subway on the return trip.  All in all, a quite enjoyable weekend for my palate.

And just like that ... BAM!! (meatless)

Suddenly, I am on the eve of another meatless March.  I say "suddenly" because this was, indeed, a sudden turn of events.  But in some very, very good ways.  For starters, my dear Prince of a husband has finally  decided to dip his toes in the vegetarian waters, albeit just briefly.  He's not ready for a full month of meatless, but he committed to a full week of meatless which brings joy to both me and my sweet vegan brother, Chip.  It brings me joy because that is one week where I can relax a bit about the meatless menu - possibly even elicting some help in the kitchen - and also I can act like some kind of an expert on the subject of meatless meals.  I promise to keep my ego in check.  It brings my brother joy because this was my husband's Christmas gift to him, which he later told me he was really not expecting.  Quite frankly, neither was I.  Accompanying this gift of a Meatless Week was Jeff's promise that he and I would spend at least part of that week visiting Chip in New York, where delicious vegetarian meals are almost as easy to find as pigeons.

In mid-December, I applied for a new job at Macy's corporate offices downtown and began interviewing for the position in January.  Just over two months and eleven interviews later, I was offered the job (YEAH!!!!) on February 25th.  In a curious twist of fate, my boss is actually located in NYC and even more curiously, my husband has a business trip planned to that exact area at the end of March - also involving Macy's.  So, to make a long story short, I will be visiting my brand new boss in NYC at the end of March while Jeff is on his business trip, providing the perfect opportunity to fulfill his Christmas pledge.  But all of a sudden, just like that, BAM!  I'm staring down the barrel of Meatless March with nothing to eat in my refrigerator that is meatless besides sour cream, yogurt, blueberry jam, celery, limes, and butter.  Well, there is also cheese.  There is ALWAYS cheese.

Upon realizing my utter unpreparedness, I made a quick trip to Whole Foods to stock up on that delicious "Vegan General Tso's Chicken" (which tastes absolutely nothing like General Tso's Chicken but is finger-licking good just the same) and some Boca Crumbles.  That's two meals down, a bunch more to go.  As long as I don't suck all that General Tso's Chicken down between now and tomorrow - that stuff is delicious and I've already stuck my fingers in the container more than once tonight.  At least I know where I can always get more.

A Mushroom By Any Other Name ...

Portabello mushrooms did not light my fire like I thought they might. This disappoints me because I was seriously ready to embrace portabello as the new sirloin. I found a recipe in a cookbook given to me by my brother's girlfriend, Laura, for "Portobello Parmigiano Sandwiches with Roasted Pepper Salsa" and I have to say that if I was a portobello fan, these would have been phenomenal.  As it was, they did not rise above a good idea.  Let me describe them to you briefly: an Italian seasoned breading coats the mushroom caps (which look ALOT like a burger patty), which are then baked in an oven for 15 minutes before melting smoked mozzarella over them.  Separately, equal parts roasted red peppers and pizza sauce are pureed together to make a delicious sauce.  The cheese covered breaded mushroom caps are placed on a whole wheat bun and topped with the saucy spread before serving.  Can you picture them?  Don't they look delicious?

If looks and smells were all it took to make me a fan of these sandwiches, you would be free to call me a fan.  The problem is that my teeth could not be fooled after that first bite.  They have that slippery "mushroom" texture that I find so unappealing.  I really tried to like them by engaging in conversation so stimulating that it was sure to distract me from the fact that I was eating a big mushroom.  But this tactic failed the moment my teeth penetrated the stem.  That was it for me.  On a positive note, I quickly learned that my dog IS an actual fan of the portobello parmigiano sandwiches.

I shared this story with my friend Michelle today during our run.  As a side note, Michelle has abandoned her "vegan for a month" pledge.  Curiously, it was not milk, eggs, or cheese that were her undoing, it was (unofficially) salmon and (officially) fried chicken.  And she is already a mostly-vegetarian.  I'm not sure I understand Michelle's logic there, but hey.  She doesn't have to justify her dietary choices to me.  ANYHOW, Michelle told me she "grew to love" portobello mushrooms after she bit into a portobello burger at Terry's Turf Club on Eastern Avenue and found it to be absolutely delicious.  Ok, I will give portobello mushrooms one more chance because I have heard great things about Terry's Turf Club and if they can make a believer out of Michelle, maybe there is hope for me yet.

Vegetables: Key to Being a Successful Vegetarian

Something occurs to me.  It would be easier to be a vegetarian if I liked more vegetables.  As I glanced over the dinner menu at the restaurant where I was dining the other night, I categorically rejected many of the options available to me, such as Roasted Beet Salad, Fire Roasted Artichoke, and Asparagus Fries.  They did have a Housemade Veggie Burger (without beets, artichokes, or asparagus) so I was relieved, but I realized that if I was truly ever going to be a vegetarian for more than a month at a time, I'd need to bring my palate up to speed.  I have noticed that mushrooms seem to be a favorite of vegetarians - especially portobello. I think mushrooms are slimy and smell like feet.  Other vegetables I don't like include olives, radishes, Brussels sprouts, lima beans, and turnips. I'm not a huge fan of eggplant either, but I can fake it in a pinch.
 
While there are plenty of vegetables I love, I sense my satisfaction at mealtime will be greatly improved if I can mature my palate to that of a woman my (undisclosed) age. What am I going to do about it?  Well, looking over the list of black-listed veggies,  I can honestly say that there are none there I think I'll simply learn to like.  With the possible exception of  mushrooms.  Especially portobello (I've heard they are the "steak" of the vegetarian world).  But I really think it's important that I make an effort.

Here is a fun game.  Google "Brussels sprouts hater" and see how many recipes come up. Now see how many of these recipes claim to turn Brussels sprouts haters into Brussels sprouts lovers.  I think it's kind of funny, really.  I think if there were that many fantastic recipes out there for Brussels sprouts, there wouldn't BE any haters.  Yet one recipe stands out as a prime candidate for my next experiment because it contains Parmesan cheese which I happen to love. It also makes reference to bliss - which I also love.  And of course, it includes the requisite promise of conversion from hater to lover.  I have my doubts, but I'm willing to suspend them for the promise of "bliss."

A quick look at the ingredient list reminds me of why I tend to gain a few pounds during meatless month - the Parmesan cheese is accompanied by cream cheese and mayonnaise - but this actually comforts me as I imagine the pungent Brussels sprout flavor will be masked with creamy, cheesy, yum.  Heck, if I can try Mung Bean Pancakes, I think I can try Baked Parmesan Brussels Sprouts.  I just hope they are better than the Mung Bean Pancakes were.  So, Baked Parmesan Brussels Sprouts will be on the menu sometime this month.  If I like them, portobello mushrooms will be next.  My palate is growing up whether it wants to or not.

Michelle Goes Vegan (temporarily)

Today is August 1, 2012, marking the first day of Vegetarian Month 2012.  I'm super excited about this year's endeavor because my mostly-vegetarian friend Michelle is going to REALLY take the challenge with me.  She has always been supportive and enthusiastic about my annual meatless month but when says "I'll do it with you," I have found it to be somewhat disingenuous and lacking in elements of authentic sacrifice.  I mean, really.  She only eats meat a few times a month anyhow so how much does it inconvenience her?  A few times a month worth.  On the other hand, I go through a complete upheaval, a purging of my refrigerator, a re-education if you will.  It's definitely a challenge, but one I face gladly because it brings my brother joy.

During my meatless month each year, without exception, I find myself at some point frustrated.  At some point, I will think there is nothing at all tasty in the entire world that is meatless.  There will be a moment that I am confronted by BBQ ribs, my mouth will begin to water, and I'll really hate this meatless month idea.  I will crave a hot dog - and I never eat hot dogs.  I will forget about my pledge momentarily and make mistakes like suggesting we have steak for dinner or accidentally putting a piece of beef jerky in my mouth (before spitting it out ceremoniously)  There will be many days that I have to settle for something less than satisfying because there are no vegetarian options on the menu.  There will be meatless experiments gone awry and disappointing culinary experiences.  And I can promise you that I will change my mind no less than a dozen times while imagining the meaty meal I will consume on September 1st (but I will not text my brother a photo of my cheeseburger like I did last year).  In addition, I have a STAUNCHLY carnivorous husband who, while supportive of my endeavors, ate a Chick-Fil-A sandwich right in front of me today.  I love Chick-Fil-A sandwiches. This is what I endure one month a year and it is entirely dissimilar to Michelle's experience.

So, while Michelle and I were both riding a 20-mile endorphin wave, I talked to her about the challenges of not knowing what to prepare and how to prepare it.  We talked about finding all new recipes and discovering all new flavors.  We talked about the onset of the inevitable frustration and the benefits of having someone to lean on during those times. I must have made all of that sound really good because when I said "If you want to do it with me, you have to go fully VEGAN for the month" she said "Ok."  Listen to me right here:  Never agree to ANYTHING during a 20-mile training run.  Endorphins will make you do crazy things.  Take a shower, take a nap, and think it over first.  But Michelle didn't do that so today is the first day of Michelle's Vegan Month 2012.

Paying penance

I have to confess an accidental meat incident. About two weeks ago, I was with my new small group and we had each brought an appetizer to share. One of the appetizers was a cheeseball which was clearly, plainly, covered all over with chipped beef. Whether it was the way it presented (i.e. "I brought a cheeseball" instead of "I brought a cheeseball covered with meat") or my own lack of attention, I did not even notice the meat until I went back a second time. My less-than-supportive neighbor said things like "that doesn't count as real meat" and "We won't tell. Eat what you want." But this same neighbor could be fairly categorized as a food pusher so I withstood his taunting and did not have any more.

It was an honest mistake, and really just a tiny amount of meat was consumed, but I feel compelled to make up for it. So, during my upcoming trip to New York this weekend, I'm going with my brother and his girlfriend to a wonderful restaurant in Manhattan where I will have an entire meal that is not only meat free, but fully vegan. I really can't wait! The last time I was in New York, my brother took me to a vegan bakery where I had one of the best pieces of cake I've ever had in my life. How in the world can they make such a delicious cake without eggs? Or milk? Or butter? I don't know but it was heavenly. I know better than to even ATTEMPT such a feat, given my miserable failures with non-meatloaf.

Speaking of milk and eggs, a thought occurred to me more than once during the past month. I agreed to give up meat, not go the whole vegan route. But what I really don't understand is how a full-on vegetarian can justify eating eggs. Even those from free-range chickens. Is it the whole "it's not a chicken until it is born" argument that many pro-choice advocates use? If so, I can respect that position (although I disagree with it). Is it related to the fact that egg yolks do not have flesh? I suppose I can understand that as well. But actually, it seems a bit hypocritical. Don't eat meat, but eat their unborn. And this is coming from a carnivore. But I digress....

So, my second meatless month of 2011 is behind me, and I look forward to many delicious meatless meals in New York this weekend. I am eager to discover how much easier it is to be vegetarian in New York City than it is in the mid-west. Because even though I have completed my mission, I still love my brother immensely and I'll be on his turf and under his tutelage. Plus, I have penance to pay.