A Mushroom By Any Other Name ...

Portabello mushrooms did not light my fire like I thought they might. This disappoints me because I was seriously ready to embrace portabello as the new sirloin. I found a recipe in a cookbook given to me by my brother's girlfriend, Laura, for "Portobello Parmigiano Sandwiches with Roasted Pepper Salsa" and I have to say that if I was a portobello fan, these would have been phenomenal.  As it was, they did not rise above a good idea.  Let me describe them to you briefly: an Italian seasoned breading coats the mushroom caps (which look ALOT like a burger patty), which are then baked in an oven for 15 minutes before melting smoked mozzarella over them.  Separately, equal parts roasted red peppers and pizza sauce are pureed together to make a delicious sauce.  The cheese covered breaded mushroom caps are placed on a whole wheat bun and topped with the saucy spread before serving.  Can you picture them?  Don't they look delicious?

If looks and smells were all it took to make me a fan of these sandwiches, you would be free to call me a fan.  The problem is that my teeth could not be fooled after that first bite.  They have that slippery "mushroom" texture that I find so unappealing.  I really tried to like them by engaging in conversation so stimulating that it was sure to distract me from the fact that I was eating a big mushroom.  But this tactic failed the moment my teeth penetrated the stem.  That was it for me.  On a positive note, I quickly learned that my dog IS an actual fan of the portobello parmigiano sandwiches.

I shared this story with my friend Michelle today during our run.  As a side note, Michelle has abandoned her "vegan for a month" pledge.  Curiously, it was not milk, eggs, or cheese that were her undoing, it was (unofficially) salmon and (officially) fried chicken.  And she is already a mostly-vegetarian.  I'm not sure I understand Michelle's logic there, but hey.  She doesn't have to justify her dietary choices to me.  ANYHOW, Michelle told me she "grew to love" portobello mushrooms after she bit into a portobello burger at Terry's Turf Club on Eastern Avenue and found it to be absolutely delicious.  Ok, I will give portobello mushrooms one more chance because I have heard great things about Terry's Turf Club and if they can make a believer out of Michelle, maybe there is hope for me yet.

Vegetables: Key to Being a Successful Vegetarian

Something occurs to me.  It would be easier to be a vegetarian if I liked more vegetables.  As I glanced over the dinner menu at the restaurant where I was dining the other night, I categorically rejected many of the options available to me, such as Roasted Beet Salad, Fire Roasted Artichoke, and Asparagus Fries.  They did have a Housemade Veggie Burger (without beets, artichokes, or asparagus) so I was relieved, but I realized that if I was truly ever going to be a vegetarian for more than a month at a time, I'd need to bring my palate up to speed.  I have noticed that mushrooms seem to be a favorite of vegetarians - especially portobello. I think mushrooms are slimy and smell like feet.  Other vegetables I don't like include olives, radishes, Brussels sprouts, lima beans, and turnips. I'm not a huge fan of eggplant either, but I can fake it in a pinch.
 
While there are plenty of vegetables I love, I sense my satisfaction at mealtime will be greatly improved if I can mature my palate to that of a woman my (undisclosed) age. What am I going to do about it?  Well, looking over the list of black-listed veggies,  I can honestly say that there are none there I think I'll simply learn to like.  With the possible exception of  mushrooms.  Especially portobello (I've heard they are the "steak" of the vegetarian world).  But I really think it's important that I make an effort.

Here is a fun game.  Google "Brussels sprouts hater" and see how many recipes come up. Now see how many of these recipes claim to turn Brussels sprouts haters into Brussels sprouts lovers.  I think it's kind of funny, really.  I think if there were that many fantastic recipes out there for Brussels sprouts, there wouldn't BE any haters.  Yet one recipe stands out as a prime candidate for my next experiment because it contains Parmesan cheese which I happen to love. It also makes reference to bliss - which I also love.  And of course, it includes the requisite promise of conversion from hater to lover.  I have my doubts, but I'm willing to suspend them for the promise of "bliss."

A quick look at the ingredient list reminds me of why I tend to gain a few pounds during meatless month - the Parmesan cheese is accompanied by cream cheese and mayonnaise - but this actually comforts me as I imagine the pungent Brussels sprout flavor will be masked with creamy, cheesy, yum.  Heck, if I can try Mung Bean Pancakes, I think I can try Baked Parmesan Brussels Sprouts.  I just hope they are better than the Mung Bean Pancakes were.  So, Baked Parmesan Brussels Sprouts will be on the menu sometime this month.  If I like them, portobello mushrooms will be next.  My palate is growing up whether it wants to or not.

Michelle Goes Vegan (temporarily)

Today is August 1, 2012, marking the first day of Vegetarian Month 2012.  I'm super excited about this year's endeavor because my mostly-vegetarian friend Michelle is going to REALLY take the challenge with me.  She has always been supportive and enthusiastic about my annual meatless month but when says "I'll do it with you," I have found it to be somewhat disingenuous and lacking in elements of authentic sacrifice.  I mean, really.  She only eats meat a few times a month anyhow so how much does it inconvenience her?  A few times a month worth.  On the other hand, I go through a complete upheaval, a purging of my refrigerator, a re-education if you will.  It's definitely a challenge, but one I face gladly because it brings my brother joy.

During my meatless month each year, without exception, I find myself at some point frustrated.  At some point, I will think there is nothing at all tasty in the entire world that is meatless.  There will be a moment that I am confronted by BBQ ribs, my mouth will begin to water, and I'll really hate this meatless month idea.  I will crave a hot dog - and I never eat hot dogs.  I will forget about my pledge momentarily and make mistakes like suggesting we have steak for dinner or accidentally putting a piece of beef jerky in my mouth (before spitting it out ceremoniously)  There will be many days that I have to settle for something less than satisfying because there are no vegetarian options on the menu.  There will be meatless experiments gone awry and disappointing culinary experiences.  And I can promise you that I will change my mind no less than a dozen times while imagining the meaty meal I will consume on September 1st (but I will not text my brother a photo of my cheeseburger like I did last year).  In addition, I have a STAUNCHLY carnivorous husband who, while supportive of my endeavors, ate a Chick-Fil-A sandwich right in front of me today.  I love Chick-Fil-A sandwiches. This is what I endure one month a year and it is entirely dissimilar to Michelle's experience.

So, while Michelle and I were both riding a 20-mile endorphin wave, I talked to her about the challenges of not knowing what to prepare and how to prepare it.  We talked about finding all new recipes and discovering all new flavors.  We talked about the onset of the inevitable frustration and the benefits of having someone to lean on during those times. I must have made all of that sound really good because when I said "If you want to do it with me, you have to go fully VEGAN for the month" she said "Ok."  Listen to me right here:  Never agree to ANYTHING during a 20-mile training run.  Endorphins will make you do crazy things.  Take a shower, take a nap, and think it over first.  But Michelle didn't do that so today is the first day of Michelle's Vegan Month 2012.

Paying penance

I have to confess an accidental meat incident. About two weeks ago, I was with my new small group and we had each brought an appetizer to share. One of the appetizers was a cheeseball which was clearly, plainly, covered all over with chipped beef. Whether it was the way it presented (i.e. "I brought a cheeseball" instead of "I brought a cheeseball covered with meat") or my own lack of attention, I did not even notice the meat until I went back a second time. My less-than-supportive neighbor said things like "that doesn't count as real meat" and "We won't tell. Eat what you want." But this same neighbor could be fairly categorized as a food pusher so I withstood his taunting and did not have any more.

It was an honest mistake, and really just a tiny amount of meat was consumed, but I feel compelled to make up for it. So, during my upcoming trip to New York this weekend, I'm going with my brother and his girlfriend to a wonderful restaurant in Manhattan where I will have an entire meal that is not only meat free, but fully vegan. I really can't wait! The last time I was in New York, my brother took me to a vegan bakery where I had one of the best pieces of cake I've ever had in my life. How in the world can they make such a delicious cake without eggs? Or milk? Or butter? I don't know but it was heavenly. I know better than to even ATTEMPT such a feat, given my miserable failures with non-meatloaf.

Speaking of milk and eggs, a thought occurred to me more than once during the past month. I agreed to give up meat, not go the whole vegan route. But what I really don't understand is how a full-on vegetarian can justify eating eggs. Even those from free-range chickens. Is it the whole "it's not a chicken until it is born" argument that many pro-choice advocates use? If so, I can respect that position (although I disagree with it). Is it related to the fact that egg yolks do not have flesh? I suppose I can understand that as well. But actually, it seems a bit hypocritical. Don't eat meat, but eat their unborn. And this is coming from a carnivore. But I digress....

So, my second meatless month of 2011 is behind me, and I look forward to many delicious meatless meals in New York this weekend. I am eager to discover how much easier it is to be vegetarian in New York City than it is in the mid-west. Because even though I have completed my mission, I still love my brother immensely and I'll be on his turf and under his tutelage. Plus, I have penance to pay.

Tofu? Or not tofu?

With a fresh hissy fit behind me, I'm ready to face the last full week of Meatless October with a better attitude. I've given up on tempeh (that stuff is still in my refrigerator, believe it or not) and feel no guilt about it because both my brother and his girlfriend told me they don't like it and don't eat it. My new meatless obsession? Tofu. I've been a friend of tofu for many years, actually. It's been an ingredient in my daily breakfast smoothies for a long time. In my Vitamix, the tofu is liquified so there is no texture to worry about. On my plate? There is a texture issue. It's mushy.

During my first vegetarian month, I decided to try cooking with tofu by using it in a lasagna type dish and was sadly disappointed. Despite instructions to "press" the liquid out of the tofu brick, the stuff was still mushy and the texture really kind of ruined the dish for me. I can't even remember what it tasted like; all I remember is the mushiness. And not like "cooked mushroom" mushy, but more like the kind of soggy mushy that will make you wrinkle your nose instinctively when you bite into it, while you try to act like you're not actually making a nasty face. I hadn't used tofu in my cooking since. Well, other than my breakfast smoothies of course, but that's not really cooking. Sure, I've ORDERED tofu in restaurants (tofu teriyaki burritos and tofu mango curry have made recent appearances in my belly) but I haven't tried my hand at preparing it. This is all changing, my friends. It's all changing.

Sometime early last week, I was at Whole Foods and a magazine called "Clean Eating" caught my eye. My curiosity led me to thumb through it and most of what I saw looked like what I would normally cook; the recipes looked like those I would be drawn to. I bought the magazine out of part curiosity (as to the exact meaning of "clean" eating - maybe I'm "clean" and don't know it), and part because there were some recipes in it I wanted to try. Pineapple Curry Tofu was one such recipe. I will admit I had some real reservations, but I was willing to give it a go. After all, it was selected as a "best of the best" during the Clean Eating Chef Showdown and came from the kitchen of Pura Vida in Las Vegas, one of the 10 Hot New Vegan Restaurants according to VegNews.

This? Will have a permanent spot in my recipe collection. I was somewhat disappointed that the seasoned coating on the tofu kept coming off while it was pan frying so it wasn't as firm as I had hoped, but I think this is just a cooking technique I need to work on. The flavor rated a 10 and got rave reviews from all carnivores at the table, even with the slight mushiness. Soft enough to notice, but not enough to complain about. I was actually so encouraged that tonight I tried another fried tofu experiment: Tofu Parmigiana.

I sliced the tofu into little "steaks" which were then pressed (not part of the recipe, but my own experimentation), lightly breaded and pan fried, then topped with sauteed onions and mushrooms, low-fat mozzerella, marinara sauce, and fresh basil from my garden. Eureka! I am getting the hang of it! This was so good. So very, very good. I need to get out there and find a bunch more tofu recipes. And tofu recipes, I have discovered, are much easier to find than recipes that use Garden Vegetable tempeh. That stuff is going in the trash, I'm serious.

A Bad Attitude Day

I am dying for a big hamburger. With cheddar cheese and carmelized onions. Either that or a pulled pork sandwhich. Or Chick Fil A. I have actually been craving meat for about 2 weeks now, which sucks because I'm only 20 some days into my 2nd vegetarian month of the year. Do the math and you'll see I've got just about a week left before I can sink my teeth into the aforementioned burger.

I really don't know why this month has been so much more difficult than previous meatless months, but it has been. I guess maybe the novelty has worn off and now it's just about deprivation. Further, I haven't really been planning well so mealtime has been something of a mental chore.

However, I did have some fun with "Smart Chick'N" earlier this month which is worth mentioning. During my first meatless week, I prepared a delicious (scrumptious, actually) stir fry which included fake chicken strips (called "Smart" Chick'N for reasons unknown). During the meal, my 17-year old son picked out all the veggies and just ate the "chicken." I decided not to tell him it wasn't really chicken because I'm going to keep this in my arsenal for future ambush meals.

This "Smart Chick'N" stuff is really quite amazing, truly. In fact, I prepared this same stir fry last night for my neighbors and they all commented that they would not have known it wasn't real chicken had I not told them. Well, to be fair, one of them DID say that it had a "funny shape" but who is really looking that closely at their stir-fry? His assessment was in accurate anyways but whatever.

But seriously, I need a new attitude if I'm going to make it to the end of the month. Regardless, I can tell EXACTLY where you will find me at dinner time on November 1, 2011. I'll be sitting at Brazenhead Irish Pub chomping on a big honking cheeseburger with carmelized onions. Can't wait.

Is a Meatless Day for Me?

Last week, I led a Weight Watchers meeting where the topic was "Is a Meatless Day for Me?" Two amazing things happened during this meeting:

(1) I had one of most talkative groups ever as they rattled off, with no hesitation, a long list of foods they ALREADY EAT that are meatless. They were really getting into it! Curiously, a divergent topic emerged about quinoa spaghetti and pasta made of yam paste. However, as pasta is already meatless, I gently guided them back to the topic, but made a mental note to try one of these interesting pastas. I was genuinely excited by their enthusiasm!

(2) My excitement was short lived. As the meeting came to a close, several people smiled and nodded and found the concept interesting, but only ONE agreed to actually try it for a day. One. And another one told me she might was well file for divorce if she tried to pull this off. Keep in mind, this is after we spent most of the meeting excitedly identifying meatless meals they ALREADY incorporate into their days. And spending some time designing daily meal plans including all meatless meals. I even went so far as to share some of my favorite meatless recipes and tell them about my favorite chicken substitute which I currently use for fajitas on a regular basis.

Conclusion: People have an emotional attachment to meat. This actually grosses me out because I just had a horrific vision of Brundle-fly.

A few days later, I was at a friend's house and she prepared pasta for our running group. I found out half way through the meal that it was actually that same quinoa pasta that my Weight Watchers member told me about! And you know what? I could not tell the difference. It was excellent. My husband was sitting next to me and upon hearing this news, promptly announced "That's it. I'm going vegetarian." *sigh* I guess he was also under the mistaken impression that regular pasta is made of some sort of meat product. Regardless, his announcement was disingenuous as he had a pile of italian sausage atop his "meatless" quinoa pasta.

Today, just because I feel like it, I'm having a meatless day. I had one of my favorite fruit smoothies for breakfast and I have some leftover Sweet Potato and Black Bean Chili in my refrigerator for lunch. All I need to do is decided on a meatless dinner - which may very well be quinoa pasta with marinara sauce - and I'm set.

Anyone care to join me?