Tofu? Or not tofu?

With a fresh hissy fit behind me, I'm ready to face the last full week of Meatless October with a better attitude. I've given up on tempeh (that stuff is still in my refrigerator, believe it or not) and feel no guilt about it because both my brother and his girlfriend told me they don't like it and don't eat it. My new meatless obsession? Tofu. I've been a friend of tofu for many years, actually. It's been an ingredient in my daily breakfast smoothies for a long time. In my Vitamix, the tofu is liquified so there is no texture to worry about. On my plate? There is a texture issue. It's mushy.

During my first vegetarian month, I decided to try cooking with tofu by using it in a lasagna type dish and was sadly disappointed. Despite instructions to "press" the liquid out of the tofu brick, the stuff was still mushy and the texture really kind of ruined the dish for me. I can't even remember what it tasted like; all I remember is the mushiness. And not like "cooked mushroom" mushy, but more like the kind of soggy mushy that will make you wrinkle your nose instinctively when you bite into it, while you try to act like you're not actually making a nasty face. I hadn't used tofu in my cooking since. Well, other than my breakfast smoothies of course, but that's not really cooking. Sure, I've ORDERED tofu in restaurants (tofu teriyaki burritos and tofu mango curry have made recent appearances in my belly) but I haven't tried my hand at preparing it. This is all changing, my friends. It's all changing.

Sometime early last week, I was at Whole Foods and a magazine called "Clean Eating" caught my eye. My curiosity led me to thumb through it and most of what I saw looked like what I would normally cook; the recipes looked like those I would be drawn to. I bought the magazine out of part curiosity (as to the exact meaning of "clean" eating - maybe I'm "clean" and don't know it), and part because there were some recipes in it I wanted to try. Pineapple Curry Tofu was one such recipe. I will admit I had some real reservations, but I was willing to give it a go. After all, it was selected as a "best of the best" during the Clean Eating Chef Showdown and came from the kitchen of Pura Vida in Las Vegas, one of the 10 Hot New Vegan Restaurants according to VegNews.

This? Will have a permanent spot in my recipe collection. I was somewhat disappointed that the seasoned coating on the tofu kept coming off while it was pan frying so it wasn't as firm as I had hoped, but I think this is just a cooking technique I need to work on. The flavor rated a 10 and got rave reviews from all carnivores at the table, even with the slight mushiness. Soft enough to notice, but not enough to complain about. I was actually so encouraged that tonight I tried another fried tofu experiment: Tofu Parmigiana.

I sliced the tofu into little "steaks" which were then pressed (not part of the recipe, but my own experimentation), lightly breaded and pan fried, then topped with sauteed onions and mushrooms, low-fat mozzerella, marinara sauce, and fresh basil from my garden. Eureka! I am getting the hang of it! This was so good. So very, very good. I need to get out there and find a bunch more tofu recipes. And tofu recipes, I have discovered, are much easier to find than recipes that use Garden Vegetable tempeh. That stuff is going in the trash, I'm serious.

A Bad Attitude Day

I am dying for a big hamburger. With cheddar cheese and carmelized onions. Either that or a pulled pork sandwhich. Or Chick Fil A. I have actually been craving meat for about 2 weeks now, which sucks because I'm only 20 some days into my 2nd vegetarian month of the year. Do the math and you'll see I've got just about a week left before I can sink my teeth into the aforementioned burger.

I really don't know why this month has been so much more difficult than previous meatless months, but it has been. I guess maybe the novelty has worn off and now it's just about deprivation. Further, I haven't really been planning well so mealtime has been something of a mental chore.

However, I did have some fun with "Smart Chick'N" earlier this month which is worth mentioning. During my first meatless week, I prepared a delicious (scrumptious, actually) stir fry which included fake chicken strips (called "Smart" Chick'N for reasons unknown). During the meal, my 17-year old son picked out all the veggies and just ate the "chicken." I decided not to tell him it wasn't really chicken because I'm going to keep this in my arsenal for future ambush meals.

This "Smart Chick'N" stuff is really quite amazing, truly. In fact, I prepared this same stir fry last night for my neighbors and they all commented that they would not have known it wasn't real chicken had I not told them. Well, to be fair, one of them DID say that it had a "funny shape" but who is really looking that closely at their stir-fry? His assessment was in accurate anyways but whatever.

But seriously, I need a new attitude if I'm going to make it to the end of the month. Regardless, I can tell EXACTLY where you will find me at dinner time on November 1, 2011. I'll be sitting at Brazenhead Irish Pub chomping on a big honking cheeseburger with carmelized onions. Can't wait.

Is a Meatless Day for Me?

Last week, I led a Weight Watchers meeting where the topic was "Is a Meatless Day for Me?" Two amazing things happened during this meeting:

(1) I had one of most talkative groups ever as they rattled off, with no hesitation, a long list of foods they ALREADY EAT that are meatless. They were really getting into it! Curiously, a divergent topic emerged about quinoa spaghetti and pasta made of yam paste. However, as pasta is already meatless, I gently guided them back to the topic, but made a mental note to try one of these interesting pastas. I was genuinely excited by their enthusiasm!

(2) My excitement was short lived. As the meeting came to a close, several people smiled and nodded and found the concept interesting, but only ONE agreed to actually try it for a day. One. And another one told me she might was well file for divorce if she tried to pull this off. Keep in mind, this is after we spent most of the meeting excitedly identifying meatless meals they ALREADY incorporate into their days. And spending some time designing daily meal plans including all meatless meals. I even went so far as to share some of my favorite meatless recipes and tell them about my favorite chicken substitute which I currently use for fajitas on a regular basis.

Conclusion: People have an emotional attachment to meat. This actually grosses me out because I just had a horrific vision of Brundle-fly.

A few days later, I was at a friend's house and she prepared pasta for our running group. I found out half way through the meal that it was actually that same quinoa pasta that my Weight Watchers member told me about! And you know what? I could not tell the difference. It was excellent. My husband was sitting next to me and upon hearing this news, promptly announced "That's it. I'm going vegetarian." *sigh* I guess he was also under the mistaken impression that regular pasta is made of some sort of meat product. Regardless, his announcement was disingenuous as he had a pile of italian sausage atop his "meatless" quinoa pasta.

Today, just because I feel like it, I'm having a meatless day. I had one of my favorite fruit smoothies for breakfast and I have some leftover Sweet Potato and Black Bean Chili in my refrigerator for lunch. All I need to do is decided on a meatless dinner - which may very well be quinoa pasta with marinara sauce - and I'm set.

Anyone care to join me?

I refuse to give up

My quest for the perfect "meatless meatloaf" has ended in yet another crushing disappointment. I know this can be done because I've actually tried some and it was remarkable. Remarkable in the "I seriously can't believe this isn't meat" kind of way. To make things worse, every time I check out the special "vegetarian/ vegan/ organic" frozen foods section at my supermarket, a multitude of frozen meatless meatloaf entrees taunt me.

As a side note, for some reason, this particular freezer case is located next to the produce department and FAR away from the other frozen foods. Do they think vegetarians never leave the produce section so they'd better put this stuff where vegetarians can find it? Come on, Kroger. Also, not EVERYTHING in this case is vegetarian so it's not like the "special vegetarian freezer." I'm not sure I understand the logic there, but maybe this is why I am not in charge of the store layout at Kroger. They do have Morningstar Farms and Boca products in the regular freezer, but this other freezer case is where the "special" vegetarian/ organic stuff (including frozen meatless meatloaf) can be found.

Because of my previous luck with seitan, I concluded seitan might be just the ticket to the non-meatloaf I seek. I found a recipe with promising ingredients, which also called for "ground seitan" so I plunked my chunks (giggle) into the Cuisinart and ground up the seitan. The results were ASTONISHING! It looked surprisingly like ground beef! The further along I got in the preparation process, the more convinced I was that I had finally found the Holy Grail. I will have to be honest here, I was actually smug. I packed the mixture into a loaf pan, topped it with my regular ketchup/Worcherstershire mix (vegetarian Worchestershire, of course) and slid it into the oven. Smugly.

45 minutes later, my celebratory mood took a mushy turn. While it looked like meatloaf and smelled like meatloaf, my knife slid through it like mashed potatoes. Which coincidentally, were also part of the meal. I schlooped it up on my plate and immediately started my concession speech. It wasn't all that horrible, really, but it was mushy and I just can't get excited about mushy meatloaf. Now, it's worth pointing out that my husband suggested more than once that I add an egg to the mixture before cooking to help "bind things together" but I told him to pipe down and let's try it before making modifications. Remember, I was smug at the time. He did try it, and he did mention the egg thing again, but I'm too discouraged to try it again right this minute. Maybe next meatless month. And maybe with tempeh.

Fun with Tempeh

I am now the proud owner of Tempeh (your guess at pronounciation is as good as mine). I have got no earthly idea what I'm going to do with it, but by God I'm going to do something with it. At lunch the other day, it suddenly occurred to me that I don't remember when I last had some protein. Corn chowder? No. The grilled veggie wrap I had for dinner last night? No. In fact, the only thing I could come up with was the tofu I put in my breakfast smoothies, but I haven't even had one of those in a few days, opting instead for fresh fruit. Suddenly, I felt weak and slightly dizzy so I drove (very carefully) straight to Whole Foods for some plant-based protein. The actual object of my search was "Match Meat Italian Sausages" (that's the actual name, "Match Meat" - sounds like a devious vegetarian game, doesn't it?) but I was unable to locate this particular product. I had read about "Match Meat" (that just makes me giggle) on another blog and had been assured it would make any bottled meatless pasta sauce taste authentically Italian. I was determined to find out while satifying my body's desperate need for protein.

As I stood before the meatless deli section at Whole Foods without a single "Match Meat" product in sight, I cast my eyes upon the tempeh and just stared at it for the longest time, trying to remember if I had seen any recipes calling for it. Nope, can't think of one. However, you may recall one of my earliest posts describes my sense of mystery around tempeh and my quest for enlightenment. I decided then and there to bite the bullet and get some once and for all. Get it home, then figure out what to do with it.

Here is the problem: there are FLAVORS of tempeh. Since I have no idea about the texture, taste, or use of this stuff, how do I pick a flavor? I actually did see one called "Fakin' Bacon" and had to laugh but that is just not how I want my relationship with tempeh to begin. I played a quick mental game of "eeny meeny miny mo" and settled on "Garden Vegetable" flavor. I still have no idea how to use it but it's in my refrigerator and I'm not ending this month without trying it. I can anticipate your next question: If I didn't eat the tempeh, what did I do for protein? Well, as un-sexy as this is, I simply added some Morningstar Farms Griller crumbles to my bottled spaghetti sauce and that's about it. On my way out of Whole Foods however, I snarfed up a big tub of that Vegan General Tso's chicken that I just love, a few pieces of tofu meatloaf from the deli case (more out of curiosity than anything), and a package of seitan for good measure.

My strength has returned, and the recipe search is on. I'm actually quite intriged, to be honest. How many uses can there be for Garden Vegetable Tempeh? Maybe I picked the wrong flavor, but whatever. It's on.

Chicken-less Broth? No kidding!

A few months ago, I found a soup mix at my local grocers by Canterbury Naturals. They have several varieties but the one I picked up was Roasted Garlic Potato Corn Chowder. It's a dry mix with seasoning that I made for lunch that day and it is delicious. In addition to the mix itself, you need a few other ingredients, including chicken broth and a few slices of bacon. I use a LOT of chicken broth in my cooking so I always have some on hand and didn't give it a 2nd thought but bacon? That's some of most disgusting stuff on the planet. Trust me when I tell you I have encountered some truly disgusting stuff in my day (I will spare you the details - you're welcome) so I know what I'm talking about. Bacon is disgusting. Don't let the smell or taste fool you, really. It's just nasty. I substituted canadian bacon and was perfectly pleased with the finished product. It's quite tasty.

In preparing for Meatless March, I threw one of these mixes in my shopping cart thinking it was a tried and true vegetarian dish, if I just left out the Canadian Bacon. It really doesn't call for all that much anyhow. But when I went to prepare it during the first few days of the month .... DESPAIR! I had forgotten all about the chicken broth! I placed the mix back in the pantry and tried to figure out if there was a way to justify using chicken broth as an ingredient (since it is not actual flesh). I knew without a doubt what Chip would say if I asked him about it so that was that.

OK, listen up. I recently discovered that there is such a thing as MEATLESS chicken broth! Seriously? Who would have thought? I remain utterly amazed by the meatless community in this regard. How in the world do they make chicken broth without chicken? I am fascinated by this, but I really don't want to spend the time and/or energy to find out. It's not important, really. What IS important is that I was able to make the Roasted Garlic Potato Corn Chowder for dinner last night without cheating and without sacrificing one bit of the taste. I wonder if there is a reasonable meatless substitute for bacon.

Meatless Meat

My friend Michelle recently gave me a hard time about meatless meat but you know what? I like it. Well, let me clarify - I like some of it. Morningstar Farms corndogs, Smart BBQ, Quorn "chick'n" Tenders, Boca Lasagna, all total yum. Lightlife makes some SmartDeli meat that is ... suitable in a pinch. Tofurkey Italian sausage? Fake hotdogs? I'll just say "blech" and that about sums it up. I think the Tofurkey Italian Sausages were even rejected as fish bait, to be completely honest with you. Just think about that for a second... Nasty.

Meatless meat has been a satisfying and simple way to modify some of my favorite foods and recipes to become meatless, while retaining a great deal of the texture and flavor I enjoy in my predominently carnivorous life. One of my favorite tricks is to take Cincinnati-Style Chili Seasoning and make Cincinnati-Style Chili using Morningstar Farms Crumbles instead of ground beef. Given the nature of the seasoning and the teeny-tiny crumbles of beef typical of Cincinnati-Style Chili, you would be hard pressed to tell the difference. But let me tell you about how meatless meat ROCKED MY WORLD recently.

My step-mother often prepares a dish called "Windsor Egg Casserole" which I've written about in the past. Every trip I've ever taken to North Carolina has included Windsor at some point. It's one of those dishes that you prepare for guests and everyone asks for the recipe. It's scruptious, it's decadent, and it contains two cups of diced ham. This past weekend, I decided I needed to have some Windsor (seeing as how I was in NC and it's practically a tradition now) but just leaving out the meat would quite likely result in something soupy and generally unappetizing. But I had a plan. Instead of ham, I used Morningstar Farm sausage patties, cooked and then crumbled up. I used a full package of 8 patties and let me tell you something. It was something straight from heaven and I am so not kidding you. I am actually tempted to make Windsor like this from NOW ON. That (!) is how amazing this was.

So while Michelle may disagree, I'm not in any hurry to ban meatless meat from my diet at this point. In fact, I recently discovered another interesting blog called "Adventures in Fake Meat" of which I plan to become a follower and a student. Perhaps I will share my new Windsor recipe with the author. We shall see.