A Mushroom By Any Other Name ...

Portabello mushrooms did not light my fire like I thought they might. This disappoints me because I was seriously ready to embrace portabello as the new sirloin. I found a recipe in a cookbook given to me by my brother's girlfriend, Laura, for "Portobello Parmigiano Sandwiches with Roasted Pepper Salsa" and I have to say that if I was a portobello fan, these would have been phenomenal.  As it was, they did not rise above a good idea.  Let me describe them to you briefly: an Italian seasoned breading coats the mushroom caps (which look ALOT like a burger patty), which are then baked in an oven for 15 minutes before melting smoked mozzarella over them.  Separately, equal parts roasted red peppers and pizza sauce are pureed together to make a delicious sauce.  The cheese covered breaded mushroom caps are placed on a whole wheat bun and topped with the saucy spread before serving.  Can you picture them?  Don't they look delicious?

If looks and smells were all it took to make me a fan of these sandwiches, you would be free to call me a fan.  The problem is that my teeth could not be fooled after that first bite.  They have that slippery "mushroom" texture that I find so unappealing.  I really tried to like them by engaging in conversation so stimulating that it was sure to distract me from the fact that I was eating a big mushroom.  But this tactic failed the moment my teeth penetrated the stem.  That was it for me.  On a positive note, I quickly learned that my dog IS an actual fan of the portobello parmigiano sandwiches.

I shared this story with my friend Michelle today during our run.  As a side note, Michelle has abandoned her "vegan for a month" pledge.  Curiously, it was not milk, eggs, or cheese that were her undoing, it was (unofficially) salmon and (officially) fried chicken.  And she is already a mostly-vegetarian.  I'm not sure I understand Michelle's logic there, but hey.  She doesn't have to justify her dietary choices to me.  ANYHOW, Michelle told me she "grew to love" portobello mushrooms after she bit into a portobello burger at Terry's Turf Club on Eastern Avenue and found it to be absolutely delicious.  Ok, I will give portobello mushrooms one more chance because I have heard great things about Terry's Turf Club and if they can make a believer out of Michelle, maybe there is hope for me yet.

Vegetables: Key to Being a Successful Vegetarian

Something occurs to me.  It would be easier to be a vegetarian if I liked more vegetables.  As I glanced over the dinner menu at the restaurant where I was dining the other night, I categorically rejected many of the options available to me, such as Roasted Beet Salad, Fire Roasted Artichoke, and Asparagus Fries.  They did have a Housemade Veggie Burger (without beets, artichokes, or asparagus) so I was relieved, but I realized that if I was truly ever going to be a vegetarian for more than a month at a time, I'd need to bring my palate up to speed.  I have noticed that mushrooms seem to be a favorite of vegetarians - especially portobello. I think mushrooms are slimy and smell like feet.  Other vegetables I don't like include olives, radishes, Brussels sprouts, lima beans, and turnips. I'm not a huge fan of eggplant either, but I can fake it in a pinch.
 
While there are plenty of vegetables I love, I sense my satisfaction at mealtime will be greatly improved if I can mature my palate to that of a woman my (undisclosed) age. What am I going to do about it?  Well, looking over the list of black-listed veggies,  I can honestly say that there are none there I think I'll simply learn to like.  With the possible exception of  mushrooms.  Especially portobello (I've heard they are the "steak" of the vegetarian world).  But I really think it's important that I make an effort.

Here is a fun game.  Google "Brussels sprouts hater" and see how many recipes come up. Now see how many of these recipes claim to turn Brussels sprouts haters into Brussels sprouts lovers.  I think it's kind of funny, really.  I think if there were that many fantastic recipes out there for Brussels sprouts, there wouldn't BE any haters.  Yet one recipe stands out as a prime candidate for my next experiment because it contains Parmesan cheese which I happen to love. It also makes reference to bliss - which I also love.  And of course, it includes the requisite promise of conversion from hater to lover.  I have my doubts, but I'm willing to suspend them for the promise of "bliss."

A quick look at the ingredient list reminds me of why I tend to gain a few pounds during meatless month - the Parmesan cheese is accompanied by cream cheese and mayonnaise - but this actually comforts me as I imagine the pungent Brussels sprout flavor will be masked with creamy, cheesy, yum.  Heck, if I can try Mung Bean Pancakes, I think I can try Baked Parmesan Brussels Sprouts.  I just hope they are better than the Mung Bean Pancakes were.  So, Baked Parmesan Brussels Sprouts will be on the menu sometime this month.  If I like them, portobello mushrooms will be next.  My palate is growing up whether it wants to or not.

Michelle Goes Vegan (temporarily)

Today is August 1, 2012, marking the first day of Vegetarian Month 2012.  I'm super excited about this year's endeavor because my mostly-vegetarian friend Michelle is going to REALLY take the challenge with me.  She has always been supportive and enthusiastic about my annual meatless month but when says "I'll do it with you," I have found it to be somewhat disingenuous and lacking in elements of authentic sacrifice.  I mean, really.  She only eats meat a few times a month anyhow so how much does it inconvenience her?  A few times a month worth.  On the other hand, I go through a complete upheaval, a purging of my refrigerator, a re-education if you will.  It's definitely a challenge, but one I face gladly because it brings my brother joy.

During my meatless month each year, without exception, I find myself at some point frustrated.  At some point, I will think there is nothing at all tasty in the entire world that is meatless.  There will be a moment that I am confronted by BBQ ribs, my mouth will begin to water, and I'll really hate this meatless month idea.  I will crave a hot dog - and I never eat hot dogs.  I will forget about my pledge momentarily and make mistakes like suggesting we have steak for dinner or accidentally putting a piece of beef jerky in my mouth (before spitting it out ceremoniously)  There will be many days that I have to settle for something less than satisfying because there are no vegetarian options on the menu.  There will be meatless experiments gone awry and disappointing culinary experiences.  And I can promise you that I will change my mind no less than a dozen times while imagining the meaty meal I will consume on September 1st (but I will not text my brother a photo of my cheeseburger like I did last year).  In addition, I have a STAUNCHLY carnivorous husband who, while supportive of my endeavors, ate a Chick-Fil-A sandwich right in front of me today.  I love Chick-Fil-A sandwiches. This is what I endure one month a year and it is entirely dissimilar to Michelle's experience.

So, while Michelle and I were both riding a 20-mile endorphin wave, I talked to her about the challenges of not knowing what to prepare and how to prepare it.  We talked about finding all new recipes and discovering all new flavors.  We talked about the onset of the inevitable frustration and the benefits of having someone to lean on during those times. I must have made all of that sound really good because when I said "If you want to do it with me, you have to go fully VEGAN for the month" she said "Ok."  Listen to me right here:  Never agree to ANYTHING during a 20-mile training run.  Endorphins will make you do crazy things.  Take a shower, take a nap, and think it over first.  But Michelle didn't do that so today is the first day of Michelle's Vegan Month 2012.